I have a son with disabilities. I have no story to tell, other than how I choose to see my ‘Jack’ and how I feel about being his Mom.

Jack has been diagnosed many times with many different labels, “mentally retarded” being the last, and PDD being the first. He now attends a very good public school that specializes in children with autism.

Jack is pure joy and utter frustration. He is the youngest of my 3 boys who are aged 14, 10, and 6. My eldest son is Jack’s comfort - his “curl up on the couch and watch tapes for hours” brother. “Jack, what does Don call you?” I ask him. “Crazy nutty, Hey Boo, Hey Pal, Hey Monkey,” he answers. Their bond is as strong as it is unique.

Paul is Jack’s entertainment. He is less patient than Don, but serves as Jack’s role model in other necessary ways. Jack and Paul share a room, and thank goodness that Paul can sleep through anything!

I try to always remember that my main function is to love him and make him ‘the best Jack he can be.’ If he is confident in his family love and support, he is free to concentrate on learning social skills necessary to live. Sometimes, I believe he “goes” somewhere else and I like to think of it as “home.” I will observe him and ask myself, “I wonder where he is right now,” and I have to believe that he is happy wherever he goes.

Everyday, Jack shows me exactly how smart he is, if only we could measure that on his terms. It must be twice as hard for him to translate to us that he DOES know and that he DOES understand.

Our family’s patience, as a whole has increased exponentially because of Jack, and this virtue spills over into other areas of our lives with only positive results. Because of Jack, our tolerance of those “less than perfect” has increased and my boys are more likely to defend then to do nothing when they see an inequity at school. Their passion and empathy has risen, as has their sadness at what they witness on a daily basis.

I have been blessed with 3 children. Telling about ‘a day in the life of Jack’ would serve no purpose as I see it. Jack is continuous effort and will be for my entire lifetime. It is a joy to be his mom, and I delight in all of him. Jack is our Soul Graffiti and has given us constant reasons to reflect, adjust and grow and all of the daily trials of raising Jack can only help me to be a better person.