High School reunions conjures up all kinds of anxiety for most people. Preparation resembles something akin to the thought and care of “the prom.” I lead a charmed teenage life. I earned good grades and was liked by my teachers. I was popular without belonging to any clique, but accepted by all. I won elections and awards - captain of the cheerleaders and even Homecoming Queen. Most people don’t want to hear about my enjoyable adolescence, as they tend to lapse into lament over their personal teen traumas.

Despite my pleasant childhood memories, it was my 20th reunion that I first attended. It was amazing how after twenty years most of my classmates still looked the same. As I worked the crowd, a pleasant looking gal who appeared vaguely familiar approached me. She introduced herself and I recalled her as one of those quiet kids on the fringe. As we stood and chatted amidst the din of reminiscing dancers and drinkers, she told me that she thought of me as her best friend in high school. It seemed that she had a home life that made for a serious TV drama … suggesting various aspects of abuse in a nice suburban community. She told me how I was one of the few kids who recognized and acknowledged her, and had on occasion even talked with her. After all these years, she wanted me to know how much that meant to her and to tell me that she had a nice life now. Then, as suddenly as she appeared, with a quick handshake she disappeared back into the crowd.

Perhaps it was the fact that I was welling with tears that made her want to escape. I still choke at the thought of the episode. I wish I could report that we had a long, friendly talk. I would have liked to hear about her nice life now. I would have liked to have extended some contact to perhaps make her fantasy of our past friendship have some substance. However, I was floored by the significance of that interaction. I looked at every person in that room a little differently wondering what my significance was with each contact during that era of self consciousness.

As an adult I was rocked by the insight that this experience brought to me. It brought to light the impact of casual communication and the power of day-to-day contact. It reflects the core philosophy regarding respect for other people and how my comments and nonverbal communication can play a significant part of someone else’s day. But most of all, this experience demonstrated just how powerful of a mark that simple kindness can leave on the life of another.